Conference Call +1

April 23, 2014

Andy and I had a conference call scheduled with our adoption counselor or specialist.  She started off by congratulating us on our match.  She then discussed the next steps of the process including the phone call with the birthmom.  She said that it is typical for all of us to be incredibly nervous and the phone call would be super awkward.  She gave advice on the structure of the phone call of us showing our excitement and gratitude, of showing empathy, of asking questions about her, of us allowing her to ask questions, of us calming her fears and so on.  I feverishly took notes of the ideas.  This was one phone call I did NOT want to screw up.  I'm not afraid to admit it, but I am an incredibly awkward person.  This raises my anxiety big time knowing this is my first impression with some who will hopefully make me a mom.  The conference call continued with the specifics of our trip including plane rides, hotels, insurance and so on...blah blah blah.  My mind was on overload and I couldn't wait to talk to Andy later that evening.

Fast forward a couple of hours and we received an e-mail from the birthmom's counselor asking if we could talk to the birthmom in an hour.  WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!!??  I hadn't even had time to process the first phone call and now I'm supposed to prepare for an extremely emotional phone call with a birthmom.  Of course we did, but we or I was scared.

The birthmom's counselor talked to us again about it being normal if the conversation seems awkward or there are quiet times.  She kept saying, "That's okay."

Before we knew it, it was game time.  We were talking with our birthmom!  The wave of emotions came.  Without getting into the specifics of our conversations, our conversation went well.  I rambled and rambled, never allowing for a quiet time.  She talked about how she was feeling, which was great.  She shared some of her story which includes a large family including one child and hopes to go back to school to enter the medical field.  She is not what people typically classify as a birthmom: she isn't a teenager; she isn't a wild child; she isn't without goals.

She talked a little bit about our profile and said, "You look like you have fun all of the time.  I like that."  I responded with, "We do.  Life is meant to be fun."

She asked if we have thought about names for him, and we shared his name.  She asked if we could be at the hospital with her, and we gladly said yes.  How could we not?  She asked if we could send pictures of him around his birthday and holidays and we said we would.  All of this seemed so surreal.  It was actually happening.

Then this happened:  I talked about how thankful we are.  She said, "I'm so happy I can make your dreams come true."

Yes, this birthmom is quite a lady.  I am so thankful to have her in my life.