Birthmom

I recently was sharing with someone about our adoption process.  People check in frequently to see how it is going.  When I was giving this person updates or lack of updates (sigh), the response was immediately about our birthmom.  As a fairly new parent, he responded with, "I could never imagine giving up my child."

While I cannot pretend to know how it feels for the birthmom, I do know her choice is not an easy one. A couple of thoughts (and some rants) about birthmoms:

• Her choice is made out of love.  Whatever the reasons are, she is choosing another family to raise her child out of love.  She is giving her child opportunities for a life she may never be able to give him/her.  
• Her choice is made out of selflessness.  Her decision is solely about the baby, not her.  
• Her choice is courageous.  I can't even imagine how difficult it is to decide to give your child to another family, but it takes an incredible amount of courage.  How many life changing decisions have you made that are this selfless?
• Her choice will be filled with grief.  It will be incredibly hard for her...without a doubt.  Hopefully she will find some comfort in knowing she chose the right family for her baby.

While we may not make the choice ourselves, we cannot pretend to be able to walk a mile in her shoes.  I cannot judge her.  But, I can be forever grateful for her.  She is giving me the ultimate gift of becoming a parent which is creating a bond I will have with her for the rest of my life.